Shit that I hate

 

In no specific order. And yes, this list will be – unfortunately – updated as I remember more (being senile and all). Without further ado, here be my pet peeves:

 

1 … Things that refuse to co-operate the way they are supposed to

 

   I   Locks that are more trouble than they are worth

 

   II   Blinds that are meant to coil easily but never are

Makes me want to scream my bloody lungs out, rip that fucker down off the wall, call random redneck guys from the streets inside to brutally gang rape it, and finally chuck it out of the window on the pavement from the top floor, and pray it fucking dies.

 

   III   Electronic gadgets in general

It’s better for my mental health that I do not go into specifics. Unless you live under a rock you already know exactly what I mean anyways. Cash registers, ATMs, pretty much anything that has a microchip inside its guts. Simple everyday annoyances that quickly add up to make your day even worse than it already has been. If there is this thing called cosmic pissing off then this is it.

 

 

2 … Things that are simply by faulty design not working to our advantage

 

   I   Wrappers and packaging in general

If you need other tools than just your hands (or teeth) to open these satan’s contraptions, it is called bad design by definition. And dudes who design these for a living should be put in a pillory for a week or so to learn a valuable lesson: if it ain’t broke – DON’T fucking try to fix it!

 

   II   Uncomfortable and poor quality clothes and shoes

Mass produced apparel. Quite possibly the dumbest decision mankind has ever done. I mean seriously, you need to cater from skinny borderline midgets to 7ft tall big-ass giants who have trouble passing through average sized doors. 

All it translates to is heaps of shit that no one will ever even consider wearing. And then someone has to get rid of all of those. And then someone will do it again, and again. Ad infinitum. The cycle will never stop.

While we could all just get tailor-made clothes that fit perfectly AND otherwise meet or exceed our individual specifications? And because it would cost much more to manufacture, we’d all have a lot less junk in our closets and only clothes we actually use.

So, in return we’d all be getting quality clothing that we’d be comfortable in and which would last a small lifetime with some tender loving care. Ditto for the shoes, of course.

 

   III   Doors that open in the wrong direction

News flash: We can now produce see-through doors. And even doors that won’t let you see the details just enough to see if someone’s standing on the other side of the door.

Holy shit!!

Yah, I know how ya feeling right now, bro. While you were getting high, some frustrated engineer just went out and solved this age old dilemma. IKR

So, to enter you simply push the door open. Leaving? Pull it open. No exceptions (in your own house you can of course do whatever the fuck you want – you can even go – omigod! – all doorless if that’s your style, honey).

People are always hurrying to get in and hurrying to get out. But which one honestly matters more to you?

To get on time for work faster which in turn usually enables you to do stuff in your spare time, OR rather having a few seconds quicker exit to the outside world where you probably couldn’t afford to do much – if anything – you know, for being let go for always being late from work.

Would save time where it really matter each and every time. Multiply some 7 billion times – I dunno – by 10 (the very minimum for an average day I reckon) and you get the picture.

But burglars will kick my door down? Maybe it’s time you move the f*ck away from the ghetto and find the joys of being employed? Just saying.

 

   IV   Tweezers, scissors, peeling apparatuses etc. that only have one possible way to operate them yet still won’t do dick shit

These guys should be just hanged and we’d all be better off for it. Yes, really.

 

 

3 … Things that simply make me feel like everything is somehow my fault

 

   I   Begging including street fundraising

Begging is only acceptable in times of war and famine. If you are living in a society – in your own society – that is rich enough to have working automobiles on the streets then it really is up to you to do something about your own plight. How about you start a fucking revolution, ever heard of that? Familiar concept, no? Well, it exists. It happens. And you should probably try to gather some decent folks to join you to make it a reality in your own country as well. You can ask for help, but you do not beg. Ok? No begging. Great.

I’d like to smack pretty much every street fundraiser that comes to my view. They have no right. That shit they pull is just low. Everybody knows a whole lot of shit goes on pretty much on daily basis. Only everyone of us could need a helping hand from time to times – and yet we mostly first try ourselves to do something about it. This is a good principle. Another principle is helping where helping really makes a difference. This means locally. I’m not going to support fundraisers and their organizations. If you really, honestly, want to help, you get your ass on the plane and put your money where your mouth is: if a well needs to be dug, you dig it, if a child needs to be inoculated, you grab that needle, if a child can’t read, you teach him how.

Distributing free money and free food always help today but it never helps tomorrow. This shit is pointless and only makes matters worse.

I say let those who cause it also fix it. I expect nothing more and nothing less from them. These people know who they are. If they don’t care, it is on their conscious – not mine. I already do as much as I can in my private life – I just don’t need to shout about it at every turn. Trust me, I’ve done – I do – more than most people. I’ve done my share for years and years and at the moment I can’t and won’t do any more.

If you can help yourself you should and you must. If you can’t, you turn to family. If you don’t have a family, you turn to friends. If you don’t have friends, you try to make some. If you can’t, you turn to government. And you don’t budge an inch until they do something to fix it for ya. You can’t have all but you’re entitled to have something provided that you can’t help yourself. Most people, majority, can.

 

 

4 … Changing history

 

   I   Telling what sounds good but what isn’t correct

No wonder so many people hate their next door neigbors. After all we all got to read from history books our version of the story that miraculously is something else for our neighbors. Amazing feat. Oh, the human stupidity.

 

   II   Remastered music

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Stop messing with my memories. Stop screwing with the authenticity of history! Asshole.

 

 

 

– – TO BE CONTINUED – –