When you look in the mirror, what do you see? A narcissist?

© Cynthi Kovach | Dreamstime.com

 

Part II of a series ”Sex and relationships”

 

If you’re not exactly sure whether you are beautiful or not, you probably aren’t.

You’ll know it only too well if you’re ugly, so that pretty much makes you an average looking kinda fella or lady.

On a good day, in a flattering light and/or flattering clothes, you might say you are bit of a hottie while as on not so good days you wonder what this person you’re living with honestly saw in you?

But if you pretty much co-exist with a full-body mirror checking your ”fat ass” body e-ve-ry day multiple times, you probably are beautiful. And you’d be even more beautiful if you’d actually eat something more than just sun rays every other day.

When I stumbled on A. Sinivaara’s blog post about her having lived years in a violent relationship, and when many of her followers replied with similar stories, I wondered if the conclusion really is that all these guys are simply ”narcissists”.

From seeing some of A. Sinivaara’s pictures of herself I’d say she is a good-looking woman, and I’m sure most people – if they are honest – would agree with that evaluation.

She is in other words beautiful. And even though this sounds really shallow and unfair to say, she’s even more beautiful now that she has a new pair of tits.

That’s just the way it goes, folks.

Not that I’ve seen her ”before” pictures but the way she herself talks about the transformation, I think she’d also agree with this notion. 

People generally just don’t go through cosmetic surgery in order to make themselves look uglier.

But I’m also guessing a lot of A. Sinivaara’s followers are quite the lookers as well. Certain type of folks are drawn to certain type of discussions.

That is – again – just the way it tends to go.

Then I make a huge leap of faith.

I now also suspect that those guys that these girls and women are generally attracted to and whom they choose to date with, are the male counterpart to a beautiful woman.

So what we have then is two people who both are beautiful.

This is a problem. Why? Because when it is not at all clear which one would have an upper hand (sorry about this sounding as shallow as it does), things get awry.

This ”dilemma” needs to be settled and settled it will be. It’s a power trip, a power game.

Nothing more, and nothing less.

This game of persuasion and seduction will probably always be ugly and end in tears. When all bets are in, winner takes all.

If there indeed are narcissists here, there most likely are more than just one. I propose that physical and mental violence is ”merely” a symptom of this power game. That’s not the actual disease. Violence is an outcome. 

I think the real disease is the way that these people have learned to look at themselves and particularly the way they’ve learned to perceive others.

They tend to see others as prey and themselves as a prize.

And that is why these beautiful guys – and gals – are so frequently so-called players.

They are players because they can be. And when you know you can, you more likely will as well.

If you play with fire, you’re going to get burned. Not if but when. 

 

 

Also in ”Sex and relationships”:

Part I: People Are Vain.