Jos se lihavuus on niin kauheaa, miksi et laihduta?

Et ole ainut, joka on huomannut, että instassa ei nykyään pääse pakoon Body positivityyn = Bopo (vartalopositiivisuusliike) liittyviä storeja ja päivityksiä. Ei sillä, että pitäisi, mutta keskustelu junnaa samoissa argumentissa eikä jengi vieläkään hiffaa, mistä tässä liikkeessä on edes kyse, ja mua ärsyttää. On siis fitnessjengi, jotka peräänkuuluttaa oman kehonsa rakastamista kaikkine virheineen, mutta vain terveellisyyden rajoissa. Tää on tää selflovers jengi. Eli heidän näkee usein väittävän, että selflove on sama kuin vartalopositiivisuus. Sitten on aktivistit, jotka taistelee saadakseen marginalisoiduille kehoille eli rodullistetuille, homoseksuaaleille, transkehoille, liikkumisrajoittuneille ja lihaville saman rauhan yhteiskunnassa kuin hoikille eli able-bodied henkilöille. Sanon heitä kehoaktivisteiksi. Vartalopositiivisuus ei siis ole itserakkautta vaan poliittinen liike kehorauhan edistämiseksi.

Kun nämä kaksi ryhmää ”keskustelevat”, kaksi poliittista näkökulmaa (feminismi ja ei-feminismi) törmäävät ja toisen asemaan asettuminen on vaikeaa. Keskustelu menee yleensä niin, että joku selflovejengistä hypettää kehopositiivisuutta fitness-blogissa niin, että ”kaikki kehot on kauniita, mutta ei ylipainoa pidä ihannoida. Tässä kehopositiivisuus menee aivan mönkään.” Sitten kehoaktivistit heräävät ja ymmärretysti tunnekuohuissa tägäävät selflovereita postauksiin, joissa kritisoivat kärkkäästi näitä kovalla työllä kehojaan muokanneita naisia heidän bodyshamauksesta. Tästä lähtee kova rälli ja tsägällä muutaman päivän avautumisten jälkeen, joku selflover tajuaa, mikä tässä ”kehojen hyväksymisessä terveyden rajoissa” on vikana ja ehkä muokkaa blogiaan tai markkinointiaan ja puhuu tästä yhteisössään. Pahimmillaan tästä jää vain paha maku suuhun selflovereille ja kehoaktivistit kokevat jälleen uupumusta ja yhteiskunnan syrjintää.

Someaktivistit ovat ottaneet ison palan nykyaikaisesta aktivismista ja poliittisesta valveuttamisvastuusta osakseen ja suurin osa heistä tekee tätä työtä vain palosta muutokseen ja toiveesta tasavertaisesta yhteiskunnasta kaikille. Kiitos, että olette olemassa, koska mä uskon, että yks selflover kerrallaan tää maailma muuttuu.

Tässä vaiheessa voin myöntää, vaikka hävettää saakelisti, että vielä viime kesänä 2018 olin salaa yksi näistä selflovereista. Kelasin, että täytyykö tästäkin räyhätä ja miksi kaikkea pitää kritisoida. Honestly tuntui siltä, että kovasti treenaavia mimmejä kritisoidaan. Siellä omassa able-bodied kuplassaan kelaa, että no hei kaikki VOI laihduttaa, ja JOS säkin treenaat yhtä kovaa ku MÄ niin säki laihdut niin mitä huutelet laiska läski? Kauheeta kirjottaa näin, mut näinhän se ajatus kulkee.

Stating a few facts: Lihavuus, rasva kehossa, joka lasketaan lääketieteen mukaan ylittävän terveyden rajat vain harvoin johtuu itsehillinnän puutteesta. Usein lihavuus johtuu hormoneista (leptin, insuliini), geeneistä, tulotasosta (fast food on halpaa), stressistä, mielenterveysongelmista, väärästä markkinoinnista, jopa koulutuksen puutteesta. Tai siis, kuka aivan tahallaan ajattelisi, että vitsi nyt mä mielummin oon JOKA IKINEN PÄIVÄ muiden arvosteltavana kaduilla, somessa, haukuttavana ja otan tän huonomman ja lähes arvottoman aseman yhteiskunnassa. Kuka tätä itselleen toivoisi? Koitan nyt vaan vääntää rautalangasta sille, joka vielä tän luettuaan kehtaa käyttää laiskuutta  syynä lihavuudelle. NOPE! Kerron teille, että lihavat joutuu kuluttamaan syrjinnän takia energiaansa asioihin, joita able-bodied ei edes voi kuvitella. Se, että puhuu kehorauhan puolesta, haluaa lihaville samat oikeudet olla tulematta syrjityksi ja kiusatuksi ei ole epäterveellisten elämäntapojen ihannointia.

Ok ja nyt joku kysyy, että no jos se lihavuus on niin kauheaa, miksi et laihduta? Tää on täysin sama kysymys kuin, jos se homous on niin vaikeaa, miksi et ala heteroksi? Jos mustana oleminen on niin vaikeaa, miksi et ala valkoiseksi? Jos naisena oleminen on niin vaikeaa, miksi et ala mieheksi? Get my point? Ongelmaa ei ratkaista sillä, että pakotetaan kaikki muuttumaan samanlaisiksi vaan osoittamalla oikeaa ongelmaa sormella, eli patriarkaalista lihavuusfobista yhteiskuntaa sen rakenteita ja meihin syntymästä ohjelmoituja käyttäytymis- ja ajatusmalleja.

Bopo palvelee siis myös able-bodied naisia, jotka kokevat paineita laihduttaa ja treenata, jotta olisivat yhteiskunnan silmissä ”terveitä”, ”kykeneviä”, ”ahkeria” ja ”aikaansaavia”. Näinhän me edelleen yhdistetään hoikkuus; hoikat on ahkeria ja lihavat laiskoja ja kömpelöitä. Kuka tahansa vähänkään valveutunut voi todeta, ettei näin ole. Joka yhteiskunnan sektoria edustaa lihava henkilö. He ovat aivan yhtä osallisena yhteiskunnassa kuin hoikat; he ovat poliitikkoja, sairaanhoitajia, tanssijoita, opettajia, laulajia, tutkijoita what have you. Heitä vain ei näe mediassa siellä, missä meille myydään ihannetta hyvin pärjäävästä ihmisestä; mainokset, elokuvien menestyvät roolit, sarjat.

Bopo siis palvelee sinuakin selflover! Vaikka kuinka rakastat treenaamista ja smoothiebowleja, jos JOS joskus et jaksakaan jostain syystä treenata ja vääntää smoothieita vaikka suuren elämän muutoksen takia, se on aivan fine! Jos sairastut masennukseen ja alat ahmimaan ja lopetat treenaamisen, haluan kertoa, että olet edelleen yhtä arvokas. Sun arvosi ihmisenä ei laske, jos rasvaa tulee lisää.

Nyt voisin siis todeta, että Bopo-keskusteluun ei kuulu ”mutta ei epäterveellisiä elämäntapoja pidä tollee ihannoida, se antaa väärää viestiä uudelle sukupolvelle”-kommentit. Me vaan halutaan sama ihmisarvo ja rauha kaikille kehoille. Edelleen on ok ymmärtää, että tietty ylipaino lisää terveysriskejä, joo me tiedetään, siitä on puhuttu jo äidin mahassa asti. Meidän täytyy nyt viimein ymmärtää, että lihavuus ei ole yhtä kuin laiskuus. Se on sama kuin väittäisi, että masennus johtuu heikkoudesta ja kaikki me pystytään jo 2019 sanomaan, että näin ei ole. Voidaanko siis sanoa myös, että lihavat ovat kaikkea, mitä able-bodied henkilötkin; arvokkaita juuri sellaisena kuin ovat.

If being fat is so terrible, why don’t you lose weight?

You are not the only one who has noticed that the stories and updates associated with Body positivity = Bopo (Body Positive Movement) on Instagram are not easily avoidable. Not that it should, but the conversation is running in the same arguments and people still don’t realize what this movement is all about, and it is annoying. So there is a fitness group that calls for the love of body with all its mistakes, but only within the limits of health. This is the selflovers gang. That is, they often see that selflove is the same as body positive. Then there are activists who are fighting to get marginalized bodies, ie racized, homosexuals, transgender, disabled, and obese, in the same society of peace as thin, able-bodied people. I say they are body activists. Therefore, body positive is not self-love but a political movement.

When these two groups “discuss”, two political perspectives (feminism and non-feminism) collide and it is difficult to get into the other. The conversation usually takes place so that some selflovers jump in body positivity on the fitness blog so that ”all the bodies are beautiful, but not overweight should be glorified. Here, body positivity goes too far.” This is a tough start and maybe after a few days of arguing, some selflover realizes what this ”acceptance of the bodies within the limits of health” is a fault and maybe edits her blog or marketing and talks about it in her community. At worst, this only leaves a bad taste for the mouth of self-lovers, and body activists are once again experiencing exhaustion and social discrimination.

Some-activists have taken a big piece of modern activism and political awareness spreading, and most of them do this work only for a return to change and hope for an equal society for all. Thank you for being there because I believe that one selflover at a time will change the world. At this point, I can admit, even though I am frightened, that even last summer in 2018 I was secretly one of these selflovers. I wondered why everything should be criticized. Honestly it seemed that thin women were criticized for hard training. There, in your own able-bodied bubble, you think that anyone can lose weight, and if the obesity is so hard, why don’t you work out as hard as I do? Horrible to write this way, but that’s how the idea goes.

Stating a few facts: Obesity, a fat in the body that is counted by medicine, is rarely due to a lack of self-control. Often obesity is due to hormones (leptin, insulin), genes, income level (fast food is cheap), stress, mental health problems, wrong marketing, even lack of training. Who would deliberately think that they jeez I rather have people criticizing and bullying me and I just take this worse and almost worthless position in society today. Who would like this for themselves? I tell you that fat people have to spend their energy because of discrimination on things that can not even be imagined by able-bodied. Wanting body peace, the same rights and not to be discriminated and bullied is not idealizing any unhealthy lifestyle.

Ok and now somebody asks that if that obesity is so terrible, why don’t you lose weight? This is exactly the same question as if that homosexuality is so difficult, why don’t you turn to a hetero? If it’s so hard as a black man, why don’t you turn white? If being a woman is so difficult, why don’t you turn into a man? Get my point? The problem is not solved by forcing everyone to become the same, but by pointing out the right problem with the finger, that is, the patriarchal obesity phobia, of its structures and the patterns of behavior and thought that are programmed at our birth.

Bopo therefore also serves able-bodied women who are under pressure to lose weight and work out in order to be ”healthy”, ”capable”, ”hard-working” and ”delivering” in the eyes of society. In this way, we continue to think; Slim is hard working and fat is lazy and clumsy. Anyone who is a little human can say that this is not the case. Every sector of society is represented by a fat person. They are just as involved in society as slim; they are politicians, nurses, dancers, teachers, singers, researchers what have you. We just don’t see them in the media where they are selling the ideal of a well-off person; commercials, successful roles of films, series.

So Bopo also serves you selflover! Although how you love training and smoothies, if IF you sometime do not work out for some reason, even because of the great change in life, it’s fine! If you become depressed and start to go to binge and stop training, let me tell you that you are still as precious. Your value as a human does not fall if you gain fat.

So now I could say that the Bopo debate does not include ”but no unhealthy lifestyle should be glorified, it gives the wrong message to the new generation”. We want the same respect and peace for all bodies. It is further understood that certain overweight increases health risks, as we know since birth. We must finally realize that obesity is not laziness. It is the same as arguing that depression is due to weakness. So can we also say that fat are all that able-bodied persons; precious just as they are.

The social media hoo-ha on Veitola – Heiniö (who blocked me) racist marketing text on Moroccan culture while praising white woman on bossladyness living in Morocco while stereotyping the culture based on one white woman experience got me frustrated. The conversation started by Jasmina Amzil (Ruskeat tytöt) led to nowhere because white women took the professional criticism as a personal attack. I have been those women. I have learnt, opened my eyes and I am still not perfect. I keep on learning so I decided to share my experience when being called out.

What to do when being called out on white saviorism, white fragility, white privilege, racism, stereotyping, pseudo-pacifism, white feminism or whitewash

1. take a breath, calm down, don’t reply until your pulse is normal. You might feel attacked. None of us WANTS to be called racists.

We have been taught that only form of racisms is “hating black people”, that you have to be supporter of extreme right winged parties, supporting visible discrimination or deportation or even violence against POC (people pf color). White people who accept POC living among white people quietly (seeing them in the streets, workplace and schools) like to think they could never be racist because they are ok with POC living in our society. This composition itself is racist. it puts POC and white people in different value categories and only accepts POC in white terms.

2. Remember good manners. When a person criticizes you, there is a reason for it. What is that reason? If your friend tells                    you you hurt them, you most likely take a minute to reflect your actions.

When I was first called out for silencing and pseudo-pacifism when twerk scene was criticized for cultural appropriation I took it as a personal attack. I was living in my safe white world and of course identified myself as feminist, never could I be a racist; I vote left and I’m all for equal rights for everyone. I thought that “girl power” is feminism. I was called out on using “no hate, peace” in the end of the sentence for silencing. I got a lot of feedback but what took me further was the fact that I maintained my cool and was open to conversation.

3. Listen and be open to education

It’s a talent to hear someone out who talks about things you don’t necessarily agree with in the first place but give them space. Make them feel respected in the conversation, that’s the least you can do. I thought when being called out that in order to live by my morals I need to show my critiques the same respect I require from them. I took a step back and listened. I had a real conversation. I asked because I wanted to learn. Every white woman needs to consider white fragility as the same as male fragility. When you criticize a man for acting sexist or harassing and they tell you “You can’t do anything anymore without being called a pig.” and that’s true. Men need to re-adapt their reality and realize there is no fucking with us anymore but the same goes with POC. White people need to wake up and realize we need to re-educate and re-adapt to a new reality. We are being criticized because POC are not done and they have a voice and they are powerful. We need to humble down and let the criticism in.

4. Take a second to reflect yourself

I had an idea of myself. I had an idea of my identity and of course it takes energy and time from your everyday life to actually ask yourself: Am I actually treating everyone equally? Am I understanding what true equality means? Could it actually be that I have acted racist in this situation? But I am telling you it’s so worth it. It took a while for me to realize that wow me being racist or sink into white fragility does not make me a horrible person because I did not know any different. This world was new to me. That’s when I realized that white supremacy is real and I am the one who puts it into action. It’s systematic, I had been exposed to it my whole life and I decided to learn more and start doing my all to educate myself.

5.Don’t expect all human rights fighters to be Jesuses or Ghandis

I was confronted for telling my critiques “not to spread hate and focus in good vibes only”. This is the textbook example of pseudo-pacifism: telling human rights fighters and activists to “calm down” because change is only accepted when done peacefully in a Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King like manners. Accept the fact that anger is a part of a person having to live in a racist world. Anger is present when being systematically discriminated. I hate every time a man tells me to calm down in my feminist speech or tells me I should try and talk more calmly or otherwise he will not listen. This again is silencing, a power move when you set the tone suitable for you, you use your power to throw off your critique. Let us use the tone we want. Once you accept the anger, you are already part of the solution, not the problem.

6. Don’t take criticism on white saviorism, white fragility, white supremacy, white privilege or racism as a personal attack

I don’t blame white people for not knowing how black people feel in this world. I don’t blame you for not knowing modern racism in all it’s forms because we have been taught that racism is colonialism, apartheid and slavery in their original forms. I blame white people not wanting to learn, educate themselves, open their eyes and change the world for the better. You are racist. There’s a racist bias in each and every one of us, it’s programmed in us. Now what are you going to do about it? Change hurts. Learning is never easy but you have to be open to it. Re-reflecting your actions and maybe learning from them is all POC want. They don’t want to humiliate you, that’s not in anyone’s agenda. “We are all in this together” is not silencing POC, we are all in this together once when being called out we actually humble down, reflect, change our behavior and apologize.

7. Apologize when behaving racist

It’s that simple. When a man harasses you before #metoo they didn’t think that commenting your looks might be considered harassment. after #metoo when you tell a man that hey that comment is harassment, if he apologizes and you see genuine regret and the fact he did not understand that it was too much, you see respect for your boundaries, it’s a step forward. We need the same from us white women when being called out on white fragility, underrating or stereotyping another culture or culturally appropriating. Apologize, reflect and re-adapt.

8. Learn to live with the fact your opinion as a white (woman) is not always needed in this conversation. No one needs your          lectures. How would you feel if a man would lecture you on feminism?