Crimes of Fashion

Exhibit A

Mustard blazer

It’s too big. It goes with nothing. The colour doesn’t exactly flatter the pale Finnish complexion.

Case history

The accused found the blazer in a Zara sale. Having suffered through the abysmal Finnish winter, she was experiencing colour withdrawal, and hence was drawn to the brightest spot in the store, like a moth to the flame.

The accused had sworn to never buy anything yellow again. Even when she tried on the blazer, the accused knew the chances of her actually wearing it were zip, zilch, zero.

Despite all this, the accused bought the blazer, because it was on sale – and because, apparently, the accused had temporarily lost her mind.

Verdict

You idiot.

Sentence

The accused is sentenced to wear the blazer, at least once a month, for the unforeseeable future. She either gets accustomed to wearing the blazer, or burns it in a bonfire.

~J~