amicus certus in re incerta cernitur

It has been a while since my last post and I don’t even have a reason for it. Or maybe I do, there’s actually nothing going on in my life. The matriculation examination continues and I should be graduating this spring. (although I have one obligatory course missing.. help!!) School is officially over and I should be calculating maths but instead I chose to write. I have a feeling that after my maths exam I’ll be crying but I’ll worry about that later.

A while ago I started to think about the things I’ve done and am proud of. I thought of my academic results and came to the conclusion that ANYBODY could do the same, probably even better. Same with sports. Yes, I have succesfully combined sports, school, work and social life but I know at least 10 people who have done the same. I’ve been through pretty rough times during my life and survived them, yes, but a lot of people have done the same. I’m not underrating the things I’ve accomplished but I simply feel that they’re not the thing I’m most proud of. I’m certain that in my death bed I won’t be remembering my grades or my medals so I deducted that there is something else in my life I should give credit to.

Then, what am I proud of?

The thing I’m most proud of is keeping a promise. The most difficult kind of promise, which is to tell a friend that ”you’ll always be there” for them. To look them deep in the eye and swear you won’t walk away on them, whatever happened.

Sure, it’s not that hard to be there for someone at 2 o’clock in the afternoon when they buy you a cup of coffee and you both laugh together eyes watering from joy. But it’s fucking hard to be there for someone 3 o’clock in the morning when they’re crying to you trough telephone and you’re not even sure if they are alive tomorrow morning. It’s not easy to put your needs, worries and other friends aside and wholly be there for someone. It’s not easy to answer to your phone 2 o’clock when you have school the next day just because somebody needs to hear your voice. But seeing someone truly smile and hearing them say ”I owe it all to you, because of you I refused to give up” is worth it. Every time.

I am proud of never saying ”now’s not a good time, I’ll talk to you tomorrow” to a friend when I’ve known that they have something important they want to talk about. I am proud of not leaving my friend’s side when everybody else did so. I’m proud of helping people around me because I feel like the most important thing in life is to be there for someone whenever they’re in need, to help your friends and to make people around you feel happy. That’s also the main reason we all are on this planet.