Nightmare

Hi everyone!

In order to save time, this time this post is only in English. It would have been a bit easier to write it in my mother language Finnish, but I wanted everyone to understand, so therefore in English.

Right now I’m back in Poland where I’m currently living. I just got back from my holidays on Sunday. My holidays were mostly great, I attended two beautiful weddings in Finland, spent time in my favourite place (our summer cottage) and travelled through Sweden (well, not entire Sweden, it’s really huge, but let’s say almost half of it I guess). A perfect balance of “relaxed yet active” times! I might later write a specific post about my holiday, or especially about my travelling in Sweden – the main reason why I returned back to Poland this way was because I fly way too much and I want to look for options of traveling without flying.

But a perfect holiday does not require a phone call to Swedish police, I assume? So what happened, why did I call the police?

It happened on Thursday 26.7.2018. I was in Linköping where I was visiting my friend. We had perfect summer days with her, totally “relaxed yet active”! I knew I had to take the ferry back to Poland at the end of the week, so I had to continue my journey towards Southern Sweden, where the ferry would depart. I wanted to go to a city (or town?) called Lund, but since the tickets were somehow really expensive (downside of traveling in these kind of countries, transportation is not always so easy and cheap!) so in the end I went to a city very close to Lund, Malmö. I knew Malmö for sure didn’t have the best reputation of the Swedish cities, and the first image I get from Malmö is an images of burning cars. You hear about districts in Malmö where even the police don’t want to visit. There weren’t too many options for buses from Linköping to Malmö, so I booked a bus that would be in Malmö at 10pm in the evening. From Malmö central station it would take me half an hour to walk to my hostel. I was for sure not excited about being in Malmö at this time for the first time in my life, I would have preferred to be there a bit earlier, when it’s not dark. I was chatting with my friend who is living in Lund, but was now in Finland, and she also really didn’t recommend walking alone in Malmö at that time, and said Lund is definitely much safer place. The day before, on Wednesday 25.7., me and my friend had such a nice evening in Linköping, us two and a bottle of Riesling in a very pretty place on a very hot summer night. When I woke up on Thursday 26.7. I saw on my phone more messages from my friend who is living in Lund, in these messages she was saying that she would not really recommend being in Malmö so late at night alone. When I woke up I realised that there was one more bus going to Malmö on that day, and I would still have enough time to take that!

I didn’t think we would be awake so early, but as we were, I quickly changed my bus ticket to the earlier bus that left Linköping at 10:30. I packed my stuff, one small backpack, one cloth bag and a small purse, and took a bus to the Linköping station.

 

This is everything I was traveling with: a backpack, cloth bag and a small purse

In the Linköping station I went to a Pressbyrån kiosk to buy something to eat for the 5,5-hour bus trip. After that I walked towards the place where the bus was departing. I was a bit early, so I was standing outside and recording a voice message to my friend. Then I went to the bus, there were two floors, so I took the stairs to upstairs of the bus. The bus was pretty crowded, I saw an empty place and sat down. I then noticed an aloe vera drink at the back of the seat and was wondering whether someone left it there, someone who already left the bus, or maybe someone was reserving this place? But anyway the bus was very full, so I decided to stay there. Later a young guy came and asked if he could sit on the seat next to me. I said of course (I have of course not the right to take two seats for myself). He explained the bottle was indeed his. I didn’t have a lot of stuff with me, so all my bags where on the seat next to me. I immediately put them where my legs where, but the guy asked if I maybe wanted to put something on the shelf above. I thought that yeah, maybe a good idea to put my backpack there, I would need nothing from there during these hours and then I’d have more space for my legs. I speak Swedish, but when he asked if it’s ok that he sits next to me I was already in my “own worlds” that I replied to him in English automatically. We talked a little, but almost only when he asked if I wanted to put something to the shelf above and if he could help me with that. After that I got the expression he didn’t want to talk so much, even though he seemed friendly, but in Nordic countries it’s very normal not to speak too much, especially with the people you don’t know.

I was charging my phone (always charge your phone when you can while traveling!) and at some point the guy also wanted to charge his phone, and asked if I could put his usb charger to the wall, as I was sitting next to the window. During the bus trip the guy was sleeping a lot, and his phone was ringing many times and he would be talking to the phone. Also he used his iphone to normal things, snapchat, youtube etc (not a stalker, but I’m also not blind :D). The bus didn’t stop many times, but every time it did the guy got away from the bus and smoked a cigarette etc. After the first stop he came back to the bus very exhausted, I thought maybe he didn’t want to use the toilet in the bus and instead he went to a toilet in the station, or who knows what. I was thinking that it was a good idea to get off from the bus every time it stopped, since it’s quite a long journey. Somehow I still didn’t want to get off in any stops we had on the way, because I didn’t want to take any risk of somehow missing the bus when it would continue.

It was maybe at the first stop when I decided to eat something, I thought it was a good idea to eat something when the bus was not moving. After lunch I always feel tired, and I often feel tired when I’m traveling so I think I took a little nap. The whole time I had my purse around me and between me and the window, and I was holding it. Also even though it was a lot over 30 degrees outside, inside the bus where I was sitting it was bit chilly, so I even took my leather jacket, and pair of jeans that I had as a “planket”. When I woke up, I think the guy was again charging his iphone, the usb charger was in the wall. The guy next to me was mostly sleeping. When the bus had a stop I sometimes saw him having a cigarette, sometimes I didn’t see him at all. When I went to the toilet, I took my purse with me. I had the leather jacket on as it was bit chilly, but at the downstairs of the bus it was much hotter, so I took the leather jacket and scarf away and put it to an empty place near to the toilet. In the toilet I was happy that I took the purse with me since there was no toilet paper in the toilet, but I luckily had some tissues in my purse. I went back to my place upstairs. One stop before Malmö the guy next to me got off, he was smiling very nicely and said bye bye to me.

When I got to Malmö, it was 4pm, really sunny and beautiful. I put my backpack on my back, the cloth bag on my shoulder, and the small purse I had in front of me, as always. It was only half an hour walk to my hostel. I had the route in GoogleMaps, so I was sometimes checking from phone where I should walk. It was mainly straight, so I was recording more voice messages to my friend. Malmö was in my opinion really pretty, and I was thinking that the places where the cars have been burning must be not really near to the city center. It was not really crowded, I don’t remember anyone being really close to me.

As I got to my hostel, a nice young guy was in the reception. I checked in, I had already payed my stay, but apparently I need to pay a little if I needed sheets and towel. I opened my purse to take my wallet to pay… But I didn’t find it. My purse is actually not the smallest, and there was a lot of things, still not completely full, but with a lot of things. But I couldn’t find my wallet. You know the feeling when you don’t find your wallet for a second, you start to feel bad and a bit in panic, but then you find it and you calm down. But imagine if you don’t find it. At all. And you’re alone in Malmö. I looked everywhere, but I couldn’t find it. Of course I was in panic, but I was acting kinda calm, because that’s what you do when you’re in that phase of the shock. The guy in the reception advised me to just go to my room, I was asking but what should I do with the sheets, and he was just advising me to take the sheets and go to my room and figure everything out. I took the wifi code from the wall, there were so many numbers and my hands were shaking so much and I was in so panic that it took me at least 5 times before I got the code right.

I’m not sure what happened then. I remember I didn’t feel comfortable in the dorm I was staying, I just took a bed and left my towel etc there, took all my stuff and went to a common kitchen. I wrote immediately to the Pressbyrån I had been and to the bus company, FlixBuss. I called both places, in Pressbyrån they found nothing (still today they haven’t answered to my Facebook messages, even though I later asked if they have security cameras in there and if they can see something suspicious). I called my Finnish bank to block my card. I was talking with a sweet old lady, and at the end of the phone call she said “But… How are you going to survive alone and with no money in Malmö?”. I replied: “That is something I’m trying to figure out” at the same time I felt tears running in my cheeks. I filled a lost item form to Flixbus, blocked my Polish card as well and called my best friend and my mom.

All I could feel was shock. How could this happen. I knew there were only three options, I had lost it either in Linköping after visiting the Pressbyrån kiosk, in the bus, or in Malmö when I walked to the hostel. Could I have somehow dropped it? To be honest I’m not really a dropping kind of person, not even after half a bottle of Riesling the night before. It’s not that easy to drop anything from my purse. I am 99% sure someone took it. Which actually makes it worse. How can anyone do that? Even writing this makes me sick. It feels so… Criminal to take something that is not yours. Something against human nature. I was also blaming me. Was it my fault my wallet was gone? Should I not have been sleeping in the bus? Maybe I wasn’t feeling so focused after the riesling? Did I do something wrong? Was it my fault?

For two days everything was on loop in my head. It was like watching a crime show and trying to guess who is guilty. Why? When? How?
I went through everything all and all and all again. But I couldn’t figure it out. Was it the guy sitting next to me in the bus? Was he “sleeping” so it would somehow make me sleep too?

It makes me sick that it happened, I didn’t lose anything valuable, nothing was taken from my cards, but I did lose something. Well, two days from my travels for sure, plus of course I need new cards from my banks, a new driver’s license and so forth. But it did affect my trust in people. I’m not a cynical person and I never want to be, and also I’m not trusting everyone I see with blind eyes… But really, I was walking in a street. And sitting in a bus. But I know pocket thieves can be super professional, and if you’re victim of them, there’s probably no way of finding out how it really happened. It just disgusts me that it does happen.

Even though it was pretty much from a nightmare and I don’t wish anything like this to anyone, somehow it’s also a valuable experience. I’m not the one calling to my friends and family crying, but this time I had no options. I am forever thankful to my best friend who was listening me crying and crying and crying, and to my mom that was asking if I need money and suggesting that she would send some to me via those companies (something I definitely couldn’t think in that shock). I was almost one day without any money since all the Western Union places were either closed or… Very interesting. I tried my best to get the money on Thursday, but all the Western Union places that were still open in Malmö were very small, and like I said, weird kiosks. They all had “technical problem” so I couldn’t get the money my mom sent, and the (very slow) internet I have in my Finnish SIM card was not working in Sweden, so without wifi I had no internet. In the last kiosk I visited the person didn’t understand English nor Swedish, and at the end I was almost crying (or, I guess I was crying) and explaining I have lost my wallet and I have absolutely no money nor internet, and I don’t know any more if I should even try another place, or will they all have the same “technical problem”. Then the guy at the kiosk asked me “aha, you want to buy internet?”. Later when I told this to my friend, she was like but how on earth could you have bought the internet when you had absolutely no money. Good question! I was so in shock that I didn’t even feel hunger (of course I couldn’t eat when I couldn’t get the money so I couldn’t buy anything). Luckily, the next day I went to bit more “normal” Western Union place, and eventually got my money.

One day we shall die. but all the other days we shall be alive – Per Olov Enquist

But as I said, this really made me appreciate people close to me (well, not maybe physically close as we live in different countries, but you know what I mean). I was crying because of what happened, but later I was crying because my friends and mom really wanted to help me and were ready to do whatever and it was so touching that I was really crying in the middle of the street even when I was thinking of it. They also made me understand that it’s ok, the most important thing is that I’m alive and everything is ok – it’s just materia that got lost. I’m also really, really thankful I still have my phone and passport, without those it would have been impossible to get the money transfer, and figure everything out!

I think it is really the difficult times that change us – often the nicest people have been through terrible things, and somehow those terrible things have opened up their eyes even more, and helped them to grow. At least I feel like I have grown so much as a person since I’ve been through little this and that – it has not always been “dancing on roses” like we say in Finnish.

I could hate the person who robbed me for the rest of my life, but honestly, I don’t have the energy for that, and I do not want to use my energy for hatred. Of course I hope somehow the person who did this would be found and he/she would have to answer for his/her actions, I actually really strongly feel about justice, that’s probably the strongest things I feel in life. I really can’t stand if things don’t go with justice and if someone is treated wrongly. I don’t belong to church, so I don’t follow any “guidelines” from any religion, but I think most human beings can feel deep inside what is right and what is wrong, and you don’t need religion to tell you that.

But with that being said… The times I spent with no money got me thinking. For me it was horrible, I couldn’t eat because I had no money to buy food, but I knew there were people who wanted to help me, and that my situation wouldn’t last forever. But there are people whose lives are nightmares. Every. Single. Day. People who have lost it all. Their family, their friend, all of their money. There is no one to call, no one who can send them money. Even without no money and alone in Malmö I was thinking how privileged I am, I can travel the world, have a nice job and live in a nice apartment and have great people in my life… Things that many can only dream of. I appreciate these things all the time (everyone should) but now it hit me even more. I think there must be something very badly wrong in someone’s life if they start robbing people. I mean, probably you go past a point where you have no longer nothing to lose. You have nothing. Doing crimes are never ok, but I also think normal people don’t go around destroying other people’s lives. I think if your life is good, you want good for others too. So what I strongly believe is that we should help one another. Help, not hate. Communicate, listen. Hate leads us nowhere.

If you were still wondering why I called the Swedish police, the answer is to report this crime.

Thing like this has never happened to me before, but this could happen to anyone. No matter how focused you are. I hope things like this don’t happen to you, but in case you notice your wallet is gone, here is what you should immediately do:

• Call your bank and block your card
• In case you have no money and you need some – ask someone to send you, via Western Union for example
• Report to the places you have last been with the wallet
• Call a police or go to a police station to report the crime

And for me this one was important: Call a friend, not because they will give you all the answers, but because you’re in shock and need to talk about the situation.

Also if you lost your driver’s license etc. (like I did), you have to contact the police of your country to get new one and report the old one as lost. All the things you have lost, you should report to correct places and get new ones.

I have travel insurance (something I didn’t even think of in the shock), but I’m not even sure how it could help me in this situation. I will have to look for that, but I’m not sure if it can help in this situation, I guess it depends on the insurance.

All in all when you travel, it would be a good idea to:

• Have some extra money somewhere else than in a wallet
• Take care of your belongings, but especially your phone, because really in case of emergency it will help you a lot

Also one of the most valuable things I learnt from this terrible thing is that you don’t always have to be the strong, independent person who survives absolutely everything. Because you don’t. You need other people and it’s ok, and it’s ok to be vulnerable. This is actually a topic we were talking about with my friend in Linköping – “funny” that I had to experience it only few days after…

I will end this post to a beautiful picture from a person who really inspires me (I wrote a post about her, read it here), because the caption is everything. The picture is from bypeppiina’s Instagram.

Take care! <3
xx Aino