‘Where is it?’ ‘Is it really cold?’ ‘Why are you so cold you must be used to this? In fact it must be like summer for you!’ (me freezing my ass off). NB: Missään muualla kuin Englannissa en oo kohdannu samanlaista kalsaa kylmyyttä. Yhdistettynä erittäin kylmiin ja kosteisiin taloihin. Ei hjyvä. ’Do you have reindeers?’ […]

  ‘Hello how are you?’ ‘Not bad. You?’ ‘I’m good. Managed to finally poo this morning after being constipated for 3 days’   ‘Morning. The weather doesn’t look good today’ ‘I don’t care nor I have ever cared about the fucking weather’   ‘Hello, how is it going?’ ‘I woke up and realised the only […]

C1: ‘Well have you thought about colour theme for your wedding?’ Me: ????? C2: ‘I think I have an idea. I’d like….’ 20 MINUTES LATER C1: ‘I can’t decide what theme I’d like for my dining room. See, I like green and gold and I have this and this colour of furniture in my living […]

One of those Tuesdays I’d like to take some laxatives and diazepams and go and lie in the shower for the whole day. Then I remember I don’t have a shower only a bath. Fok.    

Mutta miksi kattila ei kiehu jos sitä katsoo? Tunteeko se että kattila on paineen alla (hehe pun) aloittaa kiehumisen vai onko sillä muita ongelmia. Kypsyykö munat hitaammin jos niitä kattoo? Tai kasvaako ruoho hitaammin? Mites lapset?   They say a watched kettle does’t boil. But why? Is it under a pressure to start boiling?