The Birth – Told by our Surroangel
This is the story, the real deal. Told by our surrogate Jennifer herself, with her own words. I have read this many times and every time it gives me shivers, tears and makes me feel extremely grateful. This is the other side of the story. Enjoy.
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That Thursday I went into the office because of what felt like menstrual type cramps throughout the night that would intensify and subside but not regular contractions, back aches, and to see if the doctor could give me something to help me sleep. I hadn’t really slept in days. I notified the couple that I would be going in to the office to be checked and they decided they would met me there.
We all sat there as nothing happened. The monitors weren’t picking up any contractions and I wasn’t feeling anything more then the slight menstrual cramping. After a while my doctor did an exam and found that my cervix was completely thinned out and I was 1cm dilated. He didn’t think I was in ”active” labor but he wanted me to be monitored for a few more hours so he sent me to the hospital.
The couple drove me to the hospital, the whole time I am squirming in my seat because of back pains. Once I am hooked up to the monitor the contractions start. Nothing I couldn’t handle but definitely noticeable. After a couple hours I’m checked again 1.5cm, okay so something is happening. The nurse insisted that I would be delivering the babies then but we couldn’t get an answer until the attending doctor saw me. So I had to labor for a bit longer until she got there.
Once she got there she reviewed all that had happened and gave us our options and her opinion. I could go home and saw what became of my laboring, possibly stopping or continuing and returning for a cesarean. Or staying and having the babies then by cesarean. I was hoping to deliver the babies to reduce the amount of time recovering but the attending doctor (or my doctor) wasn’t comfortable doing a natural delivery with the second baby breech so either way I was having a cesarean.
We all stood there looking at who was going to make the decision. Myself, the doctor, the nurse and the couple. The doctor wasn’t comfortable sending me home so she advised that we do the cesarean that day. Yes I was READY to be done with the pregnancy but if it was better for me to hold them longer I would have. I just wanted the backaches to stop and to sleep. Too much to ask?!? lol I told them because the doctors opinion was to deliver them I was okay with doing that. The couple seemed like deer in headlights. After nearly two years this is the moment, they would be parents within a couple hours! They were the last to agree but with their okay the babies eviction notice had been posted! Lol
The doctor and nurse left the room to begin prepping for the main event and the three of us stood there silent for a few moments with a few deep breaths as reality began to sink in. I was elated! In a short while I would be able to breathe and possibly see my toes. lol I asked them if they were okay, they said yes but their mannerisms couldn’t hide what I took as excitement, anxiety with a bit or fear. Completely understandable. Within about 30 minutes the nurse came to get me. Unlike my first cesarean I would be walking into the operating room and wheeled out. When I got to the door I remember telling them that I would see them in a minute and blew them a kiss.
I’m not exactly what happened in the short walk from that room to the OR but reality hit like a brick wall. Once I stood in the middle of the OR my mood took a completely 180. Seeing the single table in the middle of the room surrounded by numerous people completely gowned up to where only their eyes showed. I fricking lost it. Anxiety took over and the tears flowed. I was so scared. My nurse Anne who had monitored me this whole time and walked me to the OR tried to comfort me saying that I would be fine. Since this wasn’t an emergency everyone could take their time and ensure that everything was done properly.
I get up on the OR table and the anesthesiologist attempts to give me my spinal but I am so uncomfortable trying to bow my back while Rosa’s head is pressing against my ribs and Anne is trying to clean my tears and running nose that I can’t seem to get under control. It takes the anesthesiologist about 30 minutes and a few pokes before he is satisfied and I start to feel the medication run down my legs. He said that within 30 seconds the medication should have spread. I didn’t have my wonder women cape on at this point (had to leave in the room) but I felt myself trying to move my legs and pull my shoulders off the table in an attempt to get up. Don’t ask me where I was going but my anxiety hadn’t subsided and I had a serious urge to get off that table.
Once the doctor came back in I was covered and the blue drape was put up in front of me to block my view. She (intended mum) was soon sitting next to me, it was time. She still showed the mix emotions from in the room. As I laid there I remember waves of calm, sleepiness and nausea taking turns torturing me. At one moment she rubs my arm and says ”wonder women”. :) For two women that were so deeply emotionally invested into this moment we seemed to far apart. I am usually the one to do the comforting but in the moment I couldn’t even comfort myself. This was tough.
We sat silent while the doctors speak among themselves describing what they are doing and the nurses talking about what time the cafeteria closed so they could order dinner. I’m laying there with my insides exposed and they’re talking about eating. lol! The doctor says we’ve reached baby A and he’s really low so your going to feel pressure. After a few seconds she says here baby A. The anesthesiologist tells Intended Mum she can stand up and look at baby boy. She says, ”He so freakin small”. Not in a bad way, simply in observation. I am staring at the ceiling waiting for the cry. It takes forever for me to hear him cry over the commotion in the room, maybe 10 seconds for, then I start crying.
He is placed in a warmer that is out of my view so i just close my eyes. Rosa was as far as she could be in the opposite direction and they needed to tug and pull to get her out. Two minutes later the doctor says here is baby B and Rosa comes out screaming. :) I knew she was feisty through the whole pregnancy. I can partially see her warmer if I pull back a corner of the blue drape. All I can see is the top of her head… of all the baby body parts that was in my stomach the first thing I get to see is the part that caused so much of my discomfort for so many months. Really?!? It was a beautiful head.
While the babies are being tended to I am being cleaned up and the doctor says you have beautiful tubes. Huh? Anne says you have beautiful fallopian tubes, you can have more babies. LMAO! No, that’t not funny. lol The nurses bring the babies to me to peek at their faces before being taken to the NICU. Their so tiny and perfect. I am satisfied. After being wheeled back to my room I am pumped with amazing medication and flying with my cape in la-la land. After a while the couple come to check on me. I was back to my overly excited self. I am able to talk and ask about the twins but they seem nearly speechless. We share a long hug and a few tears before they are on their way back to the precious bundles.
The babies were delivered Thursday evening and I was pretty loopy sleeping on and off through the night. The doctor that delivered them came to check on me Friday morning. After the professional questions about how I was physically feeling and medical schedule she said, I’m not sure if you remember me asking you yesterday after surgery that I wanted to talk you about what you’ve just done. I did faintly remember her saying this. She sat and talked with me for 30 mins about surrogacy. It was interesting to have a medical doctor ask me questions like I had info on some secret that no one talked about.
It wasn’t until later that afternoon that I got to see the babies again. The intended parents brought them to my room. I was excited to inspect them. I opened coverings and looked at their tiny toes. I was happy for the couple. I really didn’t have a connection with the babies like I did with my own children. It was like looking any a niece or nephew. I care about them deeply and will probably always feel protective over them but I didn’t feel empty at all. My family came to visit which explains why there was no emptiness. My babies would still be my beautiful, loving, crazy babies I’ve always had. Besides mine wipe their own butts already! lol
After the family left I had some girl time with crap food which always makes me smile. Friday night I slept pretty well but woke up on the wrong side of the bed Saturday. I don’t think I woke with the tears but they were there all day. In full strength. The nurse would talk to me and the tears just rolled. I wasn’t sad though. I didn’t feel empty. I was happy for all of them. The reoccurring thought was, OMG what did i just do?!? Not in a bad way.
This whole time I always told them that my moment would be when I saw them with the babies. That Saturday is when I realized exactly what I had just given this couple. That amazing feeling when you instantly fall head over heals in love with your child. That smile of pride that no one can wipe off your face. I just did that… BOOM! lol But yes I cried a lot and I cried hard. I visited with the new family in their own hospital room. I sat at watched them interact with the babies and each other and the tears flowed. They didn’t seem too bothered by this. I told them I was okay just overwhelmed.
They gave me a card once the day before that I knew would result in tears if I opened it so I figured why not open it tonight since I was already a mess. Every free space in the card was covered in hand written emotions. Basically it was a thank you and open invitation for Aunt Jennifer to come and see them in Europe anytime, as long as I don’t mind crying babies. :)
Sunday I returned home and haven’t cried unexpectedly since. I really think I’m good. Some people like to ask me how I’m doing and when I say I’m alright they say no, how are you doing emotionally? I just said I’m alright. Some expect me to be a completely mess and I’m just not. Sorry to disappoint. It may be because the twins are still in town and I have access to them almost daily because I’m pumping to help build up their fat layers. lol It may be because I am a strong yet giving person who just proved it in a massive way. So this journey has been life changing so far and it isn’t over yet. When my name gets an ”Aunt” added to it I take that title seriously. I’m gonna spoil Bob and Rosa just like I do any other niece or nephew. Love those babies.
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Minun versioni samasta tapahtumasta löydät täältä:
http://www.lily.fi/blogit/matkalla-perheeksi/sijaissynnytyskertomus-osa-1
http://www.lily.fi/blogit/matkalla-perheeksi/sijaissynnytyskertomus-osa-2
http://www.lily.fi/blogit/matkalla-perheeksi/sijaissynnytyskertomus-osa-3