Confessions of a mad woman (part1)

I want a blank page. I want a new start. I’ve tried. But there you are, always on my mind. I carry you in my heart. Is it wrong? Is it wrong for me to love you after all I’ve done? If this was just a game and not real love, I would have forgotten about you a long, long time ago! But you see, I havent. I think I ”forgot” for a while but not really. Because you came back. You always come back. Maybe it’s because you never really left. Part of me wishes someone else would take your place, all though it seems impossible. So all of me hopes you fucking come back to be my one and only lover OR I freaking fall madly in love with someone else. There is also a third option to live my life forever alone. And I guess I’m cool with that too, because I don’t really like people. I hardly even like myself! 

You don’t know this, but I wanted to write a book about you and how mad I am about you. Madly. Seriously. I wanna say love, but at the same time I wanna throw up cuz the word is disgusting. I hate myself. A lot. I’m working on that. Maybe that damn book is on the way all the time. I don’t like to rush things anymore. I’m lazy and I like to do things on my own terms. So I keep writing and when I feel like I have enough material, decent material.. Just maybe.

Also, you are the sexiest, most handsome, hottest damn man on this Earth. Miss your chesthair. Hihi. Bye

xoxo – Ninuzki

En jaksa suomentaa. Toivottavasti ymmärrätte, jos ette, nyt voi opetella tai käyttäkää kääntäjää. Peace out

– Ninuzki